The Marvels, the 33rd film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, comes out this weekend. I’ve compiled a handy FAQ so you know what to expect.
What’s The Marvels About?
I asked ChatGPT. It told me:
“As of my last knowledge update in January 2022, ‘The Marvels’ is a book by Brian Selznick, an author and illustrator known for his unique storytelling style. The book was scheduled for release in September 2015.”
So, even AI doesn’t care about this film.
Silly AI. What’s the movie about?
It’s about Brie Larson getting tired of doing Nissan commercials and saying, “Fuck it—I’ll do a sequel.”
Wait. This movie is a sequel?
Yes, to Captain Marvel.
Should I watch that?
No. Definitely not. Fun fact: Florida used to punish convicted murderers by making them watch Captain Marvel on repeat. After human rights groups protested, the state finally relented, reverting back to the more humane punishment of tearing murderers limb from limb using oxen.
But it’s a Marvel movie. How will I know what’s going on if I don’t watch the first one?
It’s a Marvel movie—you won’t understand what’s going on anyway. That’s the fun of the cinematic universe! Being completely lost unless you’ve watched all 500 films and TV series and, of course, reading the comics, as well as the comics with plot lines negating the original comics. Fun!
You’re not really selling it. Is there something else I can watch at the theater?
Nothing new in wide release, except for Journey to Bethlehem. Spoiler alert: Jesus lives! Studios tend to steer clear of releasing movies during the same weekend—Barbenheimer was the exception to the rule. Can you imagine if we had Marvels of the Flower Moon or if the Trolls movie came out a week earlier and we got Trolls Marvel Together? No such luck.
So, The Marvels it is.
Yeah, but chin up. It could be worse: It could be a DC movie.
Film School 